Benevolent, inclusive, queer: the masculinity of tomorrow is gradually built

22/09/2022 By acomputer 492 Views

Benevolent, inclusive, queer: the masculinity of tomorrow is gradually built

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Toxic, hegemonic, abusive...Masculinity does not have the good role in today's society.Some, however, try to reinvent it.What is the male model of tomorrow?Response tracks.

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Ivan, Dany and Tristan are three fairly similar boys: silent, reserved, sensitive.Of those who read and listen, rather than type the ball or their comrades.In short, they do not enter the mold, and they feel it.It is no coincidence that later in their lives, these badly adjusted boys in their genre have looked into the enigma of masculinity, this model that has been so problem.

As a child, Ivan suffers mockery for proclaiming in class """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""I am not a male!""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""And told a friend that he had dreamed of him.Now a researcher and historian, Ivan Jablonka spends his time dissecting over his books the """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""discomfort in the masculine"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""".He questioned the violence of his genre in Laetitia or the end of men, analyzed the roots of patriarchy in just men, and questions his own construction of man """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""gringalet, half-portion, cucumbers eater (...) the exactcontrary to the cowboy marlboro """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""in a boy like you and me (ed.Threshold).

Yesterday, Dany's big brother, """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""crowned brawler"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""", tried to teach him to defend herself against harassment;Today, Dany Caligula heads heads of virility in a series of three videos, co -written with Cassandre, gender researcher.An alloy of political and philosophical arguments, where they dissect controversial concepts, sexual misery, toxic masculinity, Misandrie, with a good dose of queer approach.

Dany took a long time to get started on this explosive subject that drips the extreme right and certain feminists who believe that men who speak of gender only defend their privileges.""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""It is demotive, we tell ourselves that we are going to be in a cross shot,"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" he portrays.Besides, we are very serious in these videos, we avoid making valves.But the climate has changed, it is enough to think of Bilal Hassani, rap where we talk a lot about masculinity ... The subject has democratized.""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Why would I have to hit the mags on football or dinosaurs?

Tristan is in colo when he discovers the power of the valve as a weapon in the face of the brutality of the preados.Having become a humorist, Tristan Lopin features his phone gossips on Instagram with his friends or his swayed swaying. Il se souvient : """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""Quand j’allais acheter Super avec Britney à l’intérieur, le nombre de fois où on m’a dit """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""c’est un magazine pour les filles"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""".I was super young and I said to myself, why would I be forced to hit my mags on football or dinosaurs?You were so questioned about your own identity ... I have to be the first to want to question this image of masculinity that has rotten us, to make life softer to other people.""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

These works are part of a profound questioning of a long central role in society: head of the family, citizen, soldier...Man is the default model, to the point that the term is synonymous with human being. """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""La force de l’ordre masculin se voit au fait qu’il se passe de justification"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""", écrit le sociologue Pierre Bourdieu dans La domination masculine.

With a few exceptions, patriarchy and civilization have built hand in hand, as Olivia Gazalé, author of the myth of virility (ed. Robert Laffont) : """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""Dans certaines civilisations de la préhistoire - étrusque, égyptienne, celte… – il n’y avait pas de suprématie masculine.In these matrilineal societies, women had large prerogatives: the right to education, free movement, to exercise political and religious functions.Of the rights and powers that they will lose later.I called this process """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""the virilization of the world"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""".The woman will be inferiorized, domesticated, minor: patriarchal ideology makes her the submissive servant of man and reduces her for centuries to her only role as procreator.""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It is virility itself that would be at work in this existential discomfort

Today, this dominant model is pressed everywhere: by feminist claims, by the rise of LGBT movements which dispute the binarity of the genre, by the development of a post-industrial society which no longer needs brute forceassociated with men.Is there a discomfort in the male?Most specialists agree: it is virility itself that would be at work in this existential discomfort.Men 'violence turns against women, but also against themselves.They die more suicides, fill prisons, and from childhood, suffer 90 % of punishment at school, according to the work of sociologist Sylvie Ayral.Far from putting them back in the rank, these sanctions value them in the face of their peers;A vicious circle that confined them to dragging studies, far behind women.And which makes a collective cost weigh on the company.Sexist and sexual offenses, intra-family, homicide, drug trafficking ... The historian Lucile Peytavin quantified at 95 billion euros per year the price of the myth of virility.

Sur le même sujet ⋙Les publicités célèbrent les nouvelles masculinités : """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""woke washing"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ou preuve d'un monde qui change ?

⋙The new guys: what is their vision of masculinity?

Olivia Gazalé parle de piège pour les deux sexes : «""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""On ne naît pas viril, on le devient, en obéissant à un faisceau d’injonctions physiques, comportementales et morales très coercitives.Being a man is a biological fact, but becoming virile is a process of internalization of standards, an expensive and demanding process, by definition never completed, or always imperfect.Man must constantly prove and confirm, by his strength, his courage and his sexual vigor, that he is indeed a man, a real, in other words that he is neither a woman nor a homosexual.""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The definition of a man, a real one, is incredibly reductive

The trap is all the more relentless since the definition of a man, a real one, is incredibly reductive.Australian sociologist Raewyn Connell has established a typology which refers and which shows the fierce hierarchy between the different ways of being a man. Elle distingue en premier lieu la masculinité hégémonique, celle qui fait plier les autres devant son pouvoir, et que monopolisent les hommes privilégiés ; la masculinité complice, qui facilite la domination des premiers (en riant à leurs blagues sexistes, par exemple) ; la masculinité marginale, les hommes immigrés ou de classe sociale inférieure ; et la masculinité dite """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""subordonnée"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""", dans laquelle se retrouvent Dany ou Tristan, celle qui leur vaut des """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""pédés"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ou """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""tafioles"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" à la récré.

What alternative model to offer to men?

Who comes out of this exhausting quequette competition?A handful of heteros from business schools, and that's about it.However, it is difficult to abolish a status quo that we breathed as the air around us, a legacy of centuries of oppression.And the questioning of this system opens a major challenge: what do we put in its place?Feminism is exhilarating that it suggests a better future for women, a horizon for today's little girls.What alternative model to offer men who is as attractive as the throne they have occupied so long?

The male agenda thrives on this relative emptiness;A galaxy that goes from the pick-up artist to bootcamps for the real men, passing by the tens of thousands of pages of forums where young men designate women by the physical note that they attribute to them.A audience that Dany Caligula knows well. """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""Avec mes émissions Twitch, je me suis rendu compte que j’avais un public assez geek, des mecs de 30 piges parfois puceaux.Some have been fooled by seduction coaches...You should know that there are two or three to speak of masculinity in France and they are hundreds to produce Putaclic and Manichean content.When you have never had a girlfriend in your life, and you consume this content, it's normal to have a shitty opinion on this subject!A large part of my audience is far right and looks at me to insult me. Certains me disent """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""je t’aimais pas au début, mais grâce à toi je suis sorti de ces vidéos toxiques"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""".I remain convinced that we must speak! """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Another form of speech release is just as crucial;that of other men, to temper the violence of their peers.In his sexism essay, a matter of men (ed.Libertalia), the feminist author Valérie Rey-Robert explains that the end of male domination cannot happen as long as the majority of men remain passive witnesses to the abusive behavior of some. """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""Si plus d’hommes parlent avant, pendant et après des actes de violences sexistes, ils créeront un climat où les violences faites aux femmes seront incompatibles avec des normes masculines, écrit-elle.Men have a major duty in the matter, because nothing counts more for a man than the opinion of his peers.If a man makes him understand that what he says or does nothing to be valuing, that others follow him, then he will stop.It is silence, which is worth approval, which confirms it.""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Many men are blocked in the pseudo-ideal that they are offered from childhood

And then there are alternative ways to represent masculinity.In his books, Ivan Jablonka is interested in cultural icons out of the virile mold: Charlot, the flagship character of Charlie Chaplin, a gaffeur resistant to the bourgeois order, or even Jean-Jacques Goldman (yes yes). """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""Ça me frappe que beaucoup d’hommes soient bloqués dans les pseudo-idéaux qu’on leur propose dès l’enfance, dit-il.What is interesting is to see how the same man can be contradictorily in different models of masculinity, both dominant and dissidents.President Obama, we can say that he is the embodiment of a hegemonic and powerful masculinity.But compared to Trump, his successor, we can see him as an intellectual, a black man, someone fragile...You have to get out of the schematism and complicate the masculine.""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Le spectacle de Tristan Lopin Dépendance affective, dans lequel il dissèque ses névroses et ses déboires sentimentaux, offre aussi une forme de contre-modèle : """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""Ce spectacle, je l’ai écrit après ma première rupture amoureuse. J’avais le sentiment que c’était une douleur que personne n’avait vécue parce que les garçons n’en parlaient pas ! Et depuis, des mecs qui viennent traînés par leur copine me disent : """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""Ça me parle grave, mais c’est des choses sur lesquelles j’ai du mal à mettre des mots.""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""They are not used to dissecting things this way.""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""The humorist insists the importance of going to consult a shrink, always taboo on the boys.

For Dany Caligula, it is urgent to enhance a queer approach and modify the often ultra-violent gaze that men have on themselves. """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""C’est épouvantable de réfléchir à la taille de sa mâchoire, alors qu’on ne peut pas changer ça.What we can change is his attitude.Flourish in clothes that we like, sport, artistic activities...They don't think like that, but they too could be pretty.You can be a man and be as sexy as a woman: it is the queer's strength.""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Today's utopias become the banality of tomorrow

Dans un réquisitoire ambitieux à la fin du livre Des hommes justes, Ivan Jablonka défend la """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""justice de genre"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""", une remise à plat des codes culturels et sexués. """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""C’est comme le changement climatique, on fait des choses dans sa vie quotidienne, mais il faut aussi des réformes systémiques, résume-t-il.Take the example of parental leave: it is obvious that this theme must be addressed within the couple, but as long as the legislator does not take it, we do not advance.We must obtain a new deal capable of equally restoring powers, responsibilities, private and public roles ... The utopias of today become the banality of tomorrow.""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""She is there, the place of men in the feminist struggle: to work for change within their own genre.At work, gentlemen.

For further…

The balls on the table, reference podcast by victory Tuaillon on the challenges of masculinity, and the book of the same name by binge audio editions

The cost of virility, by Lucile Peytavin, Anne Carrière editions.

Maternity, paternity, parity, of Violaine Duroptrop, editions of the Faubourg.

Article published in Neon magazine in June-July 2021