6 nations.Masked oval returns to France-England and it's "brutal"

By masked oval published lectu rugby my news

The first 6 nations tournament after a World Cup is a bit like the beginnings of a new romantic relationship.We learn to discover the one with whom we will spend the next years of our life (normally, it should last minimum 4 years, but we are not immune to a brutal break and a divorce that endsto the court).At the beginning, we are under the spell, full of hope, probably a little naive.We only see the qualities in the other.Another who takes care to show up in his best light, so much so that we end up really wondering why we have advised you not to frequent him, and from where all the horrible stories that circulate about him come out.

In principle, the honeymoon only lasts a short moment.For Marco the beautiful bronzé, it had been about a year.Ah what were we demanding, at the time!With hindsight, we tell ourselves that he was not so bad.Then hey, he had lots of flaws, but at least he was beautiful kid.Then there was Philou Le Bariton, with whom the magic operated a short year too, then you quickly fed up with his whining.With Guy, the cmerged sailor, it was starting to smell bad after 6 months, especially since those around you had it in the eye from the start.Jacquo la Stach ’?Well, you never believed it, it was the "Rebound Guy" that we found you to pass the time while waiting to find a serious relationship.

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How long will Fabien Le Geek be holding?For the moment, you are totally under the spell.He wears small glasses that give him intelligent air and uses lots of learned words.Uses lots of people too, since he has a staff of 180 people, including NASA technicians responsible for helping him to perpetuate your relationship.With him, we always know when the bottle of milk lying around in the fridge is expired or not.Your sexual intercourse is also timed, filmed and analyzed during long sequences on a retroprojector.All in the presence of several technicians, which is a little annoying, but it seems that it is necessary to reach "international standards".

We don't know if Fabien is really "the right one".But in any case, in terms of appearances, it seems to be.And this is already a small revolution as you have been used to hanging out with broken arms since the start of your sentimental life.First step to test the solidity of your links?A little afternoon drinking tea with English "friends".Generally, it is even more revealing than a dinner with your parents-in-law.

The composition:

The film of the match:

Note: This report is guaranteed 100 % without a joke on Brexit.Because when it's too easy, we don't have fun. C’est d’ailleurs pour ça que le XV de France arrête systématiquement de jouer à partir de la 60^e minute.

Part-match: in tribute to Fabien Garthié, the first Marseillaise in this new era is played "at very high intensity".We are on the verge of the Remix accelerated by Crazy Frog.The public of the Stade de France is completely dropped and already breathless before kick -off.The tone is set: even the spectators will have to undergo the tortures of Thibault Giroud to succeed in keeping the pace for 4 years.

Pendant qu’on polémique sur les propos d’Eddie Jones, Joe Marler continue d’en avoir rien à péter, et c’est pour ça qu’on l’aime. (©BBC)

1^e : Le coup d’envoi tapé par Owen Farrell est réceptionné par Gregory Alldritt.The French number 8 is immediately put under pressure and takes a good big stem.An action that will symbolize the exact opposite of what will happen for the next 60 minutes.

3^e : Comme on pouvait s’y attendre, les Anglais ont décidé de tester la solidité d’Anthony Bouthier pour sa première sélection.The rear receives its first candle without difficulty.Tempting up a guy who spent most of his career in Brittany to play a match in the rain: ultimately, maybe Fabien Garthié is the famous strategist we all expected.

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4^e : Première touche pour les Bleus et première frayeur pour le Stade de France.Julien Marchand ships the ball into the arms of Sam Underhill who enters 22m.But the French defense is aggressive and the English lose the balloon.

5^e : Première attaque tricolore dans le camp anglais.Dupont serves Teddy Thomas perfectly in the meantime.The Racing 92 winger pierces several meters, but fails to eliminate the English rear to score (therefore, everyone will treat him with big draws on Twitter, since he seems to have recovered the Digital Punching Bag stationby Yoann Huget).The action continues nevertheless on several playing times, and this time it was Ntamack who finds the fault, with a skillful inner return to Vincent Rattez, who had hidden behind his nose to escape the vigilance of the English.The Rochelais REFUT Ben Youngs and inscribes the first test of the meeting.7-0 after the transformation.

14^e : Nouveau temps fort français dans les 22 après une chandelle de Ntamack déviée par Thomas et récupérée par Ollivon.The defense of the rose holds good but begins to the fault.Ntamack takes the opportunity to widen the gap, 10-0.

17^e : Selon toute vraisemblance Manu Tuilagi a reçu pour mission d’exécuter Romain Ntamack, puisque toutes ses interventions se résument à prendre le ballon et à foncer à toute allure sur le demi d’ouverture français.Unfortunately, the holy killer Samoan looks a little too fragile to support "the intensity and the brutality" of the.Injured, he leaves the field and is replaced by the much less powerful Joseph, who will go through this match as I went through my years in college, with a clever mixture of disinterest and misunderstanding.

Alors Courtney, tu les trouves trop tendres ces petits Bleus ? (©BBC)

19^e : Dupont tape un coup de pied dans la boîte, dont la trajectoire est déviée par un bras anglais.At the fallout, Ollivon and Lawes are in the fight, the ball is blurred and falls into the arms of Rattez.The English stop playing by believing that ahead.Ratte, he continues and fixes the last defender with restoring Ollivon, who will conclude after a 30 -meter race.

Nigel Owens asks for video.Did Ollivon screened the ball in front with his hand when he was in the fight with Lawes?A priori it will be easy to know it, knowing that the two players have a different skin color and that English is tattooed like a taulard.And yet, in slow motion, we do not understand much, and it is typically the kind of decision that can fall on one side as on the other following the mood of the referee.Luckily, today, Nigel is in mood to wear sailors and smoke gypsies.Validated test.Ntamack achieves a very nice corner kick, 17-0.

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25^e : Vexés comme si un barman leur avait annoncé qu’on ne servait pas de fish and chips dans son pub, les Anglais connaissent une nouvelle période de domination dans les 22m.But we then begin to understand that we are in a day when nothing can happen to the French.Le Roux, Alldritt and Fickou chain dominant tackles.Itoje, Curry and Underhill, who had devoured the All Blacks a few months ago, all seem frightened kittens in the face of the roughness of the Blue Defense.

I'm sick of this bread Neck. I wanna draw, I wanna draw, I wanna draw. I WANNA DRAAWWWW!!! Stupid weak body.https: // t.CO/4BW1NCLLKZ

— Lady Math【Commission = CLOSED】 Thu Apr 22 14:21:16 +0000 2021

Youngs and Ford embark on a large competition of the one who will succeed in the clearest and floating passes, while Owen Farrell, orphan of his coach dad, looks even more like a sad and angry child than usual.The whites end up losing possession and Anthony Bouthier ships the ball to Aubervilliers of a masterful stanch.This time for sure, the Blues are blessed by the spirit of Yionel Beauxis.Like Mufasa in the Lion King, his immense translucent face takes his protective gaze on the Blues from the clouds above the stadium of France.It is addressed to the whole team: "You had forgotten who you were.You are better than what you have become.You need to take your place in the World Rugby ranking!You forgot that you were French!»»

31^e : Nouvelle illustration de l’impuissance anglaise avec une nouvelle offensive dans les 22m avortées, cette fois-ci par un bon grattage de Gregory Alldritt qui, pour l’instant, réalise le match de sa vie.Imagine the terrible Chagrin of the Scottish, who, in addition to having lost against Ireland in the most unimaginably cruel possible way, realize that the best player is French.

41^e : Les Anglais sont ENCORE dans nos 22 mètres, et pourtant, ils donnent l’impression de se situer à plus de 42 kilomètres de notre en-but, tant cette zone leur semble inaccessible.After a sequence of 15 playing times, Ewels escapes the ball and the Blues return to the locker room on a net 17-0.Paradoxically, this display table is particularly scary in view of our recent history, and it is limited if we would not prefer to be carried out at the score.

42^e : La seconde période débute comme la première s’est terminée, avec des Anglais à 10 mètres de l’en-but, qui semblent aussi interloqués et sans solution que moi face à une notice Ikea.Joseph is on the verge of scoring but explodes to the impact before passing the line.Then the ball is lost again on a pick and go session.

53^e : Frusté par l’échec du plan qui consistait à projeter Ntamack sous les roues du tank Tuilagi, les Anglais diversifient leur tactique avec un bon vieux plaquage à retardement.The young opening half who has not lost the use of his legs, it does not whistle.

54th: Fabien Galkié's men finally leave their camp after a good contest by Jefferson Poirot, author of a remarkable entrance.Ntamack Tape in touch.Ollivon deviates the ball for Cros, which is stopped net and passes a little urgently for Dupont.The melee half then serves us its usual magic round and inexplicably managed to take a hole between 11 players.He ends his ride for a pass in the right timing for Ollivon, still there in the right place at the right time.Doubled for the captain, transformation, 24-0.We then start to dream of seeing the English take a fanny at the stadium of France, but we are not going to dream too long.

We will note in passing the start of a fight with a ninja ninja from Luke Cowan-Dickie.Typically the kind of violent and free gesture that the French were doing when they were frustrated to take turns against the XV of the rose.What a pleasure to see the situation can be reversed!

56^e : Jonny May, qui se sent sûrement encore un peu con d’avoir complètement arrêté de jouer sur le premier essai d’Ollivon, décide de sauver la patrie à lui seul.And he does it pretty well.Served on his wing, the winger tries to follow over Bouthier and takes advantage of Thomas' hazardous placement to get ahead of it and go and score.24-7.

63^e : On arrive donc à cette fameuse période sponsorisée par la Fédération Française des Cardiaques où les Français décident de ne plus toucher un seul ballon en attaque et de subir, subir, jusqu’à ce qu’on soit tenté d’éteindre notre télé et d’aller faire un footing pour nous détendre.Fortunately, on the defense side, aggressiveness is still there, like Gaël Fickou's interventions.

In 2012, we discovered and admired this player for his dialing support and his speed.8 years later he accomplished his metamorphosis under the aegis of Shaun Edwards, and seems to have become the frightening cross between Richard Dourthe and David Marty.19 tackles on this match, more than Maxime Mermoz on all of his 35 selections.

65^e : Malgré l’agressivité française, la défense craque une nouvelle fois, et c’est encore Jonny May qui fout son bordel.Vakatawa achieves a suicide climb that opens spaces for the Véloce winger, and behind it is the Air-Placing World Championship.We then regret the absence of Yoann Huget, who probably would not have done better than his teammates, but who at least would have invented something spectacular and funny, like a slide, a round or a salto with a soundtrack of Tex Avery.We don't forget you Bubulle.24-14.

70^e : Le chrono continue de tourner et tous les supporters tricolores se désintéressent de ce qui se passe sur le terrain.The match, they are making them in their heads.Who will crack?How ?An interception, a ball, a fork?A tackle strike, to reaffirm our deep French identity?In front of his TV in Clermont-Ferrand, Sébastien Vahaamahina sighs "at least, this time it will not be my fault".

76^e : Les hommes d’Eddie Jones sont de retour dans les 22 mètres, où ils ont désormais construit une petite cabane.Probably the only place in Ile-de-France where the square meter is not yet 10,000 euros.After a long sequence, Kruis is launched like a hornet under the posts, but Bouthier and some comrades manage to position himself under him to prevent him from flattening.

78^e : Au tour d’Antoine Dupont de sauver la patrie avec une cartouche mémorable sur Heinz.

79^e : Après avoir accompagné Anthony Bouthier plus tôt dans le match, l’esprit de Yionel Beauxis fait son retour dans le ciel de Saint-Denis."Antoine!Don't be like me, find the touch!»He implores the young French scrum half.He runs immediately and ships the ball in the stands.Unfortunately he does not think of checking the time before doing it.Like what, we criticize Paris La Défense Arena, but it would never have happened with this giant 4 -kilometer screen.

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80^e : Ce grand moment de sang-froid à la française sera heureusement sans conséquence.The English will still take advantage of their last possession to obtain and convert a penalty.See the vice-world champions reduced to taking the 3 points to have the defensive bonus, what could be more humiliating, ultimately?It is on this perfect conclusion that the match ends.24-17.

The conclusion

After this very beautiful inaugural victory, a question arises naturally: where will you be on October 23, 2023 to celebrate the first world coronation of the Blues?At the Stade de France?In your favorite ad?On the Champs-Élysées?Be careful however, the future is always uncertain, and you will have to stay alive in the coming 1356 days to make sure you don't miss this historic event.

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More seriously, this victory is immensely enjoyable, but it is better to avoid spacing petrol and cracking a match too early.Recall that two years ago, Jacques Brunel also beat a England next to his pumps, which is more with a team composition straight out of rugby hell, where Hugo Bonneval, Rémy Grosso, Benjamin Fall appeared, Maxime Machenaud or François Trinh-Duc.

If we really want to play at a rake, we can also notice that the Blues made almost the same match as usual, except that this time, the French cat © was on their side on a disputed test.If we observe the statistics, one can point the finger at a failing conquest, or the fact that the English have largely dominated in matters of possession and occupation.We can also say that, even more than Fabien Garthié, the key man of this success may have been Eddie Jones, whose pre-match speech has probably produced miraculous effects on the Blues.

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Legitimate questions and doubts, which can however be easily scanned with a magic sentence: we nicked the English.Because, sometimes, you have to know how to enjoy the present moment and forget for a time that French rugby has always been a drunk that spends its time dancing on the edge of a cliff.We suspect that he will end up falling, but in the meantime, we admire him to move with an astonishing grace.

* Note: masked oval is a humorous columnist, with a voluntarily offbeat tone.This is not a fake news, but second degree ...

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