Synergology or how our gestures say everything about us

Hands hidden under the table? The sign of a humble and respectful listening. Constantly moving eyebrows? The need to seduce – Marilyn Monroe is a vibrant example. A micro-itch in the collarbone, called the "key to the heart" by the ancient Greeks? The expression of generosity.

Does our body truly and universally speak, regardless of our life stories and cultural roots? Yes, answers Philippe Turchet in Le Grand Livre de la synergologie, a sum of 400 pages devoted to this practice, the reading of body language, which, says the specialist, has been greatly enhanced thanks to digital techniques. “By comparing thousands of videos, we were able to establish the first Body Elements Table (TEC) which groups all human postures and thus find common elements of thought for each situation.”

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But why? What is the point of such a repertoire that seems to have come out of an old grimoire? “Synergology makes it possible to better understand the unsaid of the other and to communicate better. It is a helping and non-judgmental approach, ”says the specialist in this book, both copious and playful, which will be published on January 27 by Editions de l’Homme.

The liar lacks incarnation

First, this burning question. Does synergology make it possible to detect lies in his interlocutor? “Yes, but not in the expected way,” informs the author. We imagine that it is the malaise of the liar that will betray him. Too easy, sanctions the specialist. Because the liar rationalizes his story and manages his emotions so as to avoid any sign of confusion. On the other hand, several manifestations, such as the excessively sustained gaze and the lack of incarnation, betray it.

Also read: The lie: the whole truth about a necessary evil

Thus, explains Philippe Turchet, when someone talks about a meal wishing to ignore the compromising presence of a guest, you have to ask him about what he ate. If his eyes do not descend in the direction of the plate to remember the dishes of the evening, it is proof that the narrator remains on the surface, in a story of which he does not want to lose mental control. Same for the weather or the wine he drank. Each time the author of an arranged story has to express himself on a concrete element, he lacks precision, “because it is thanks to the unconscious body memory that the right gesture emerges. We call it embodiment,” explains the synergologist.

The smile of embarrassment

Which goes on to defuse two received ideas. The crossing of arms or legs is not necessarily a sign of closure. And the smile does not always show benevolence. Crossed limbs only indicate closure if the interlocutor leans back in their seat or bars the conversation with their body. If he advances with an open angle, the crossing means that he creates a bubble in which he welcomes his vis-à-vis.

As for a smile, it often signals discomfort, assures the synergologist. Already, it has been established for a long time that only the smile accompanied by the squinting of the eyes was a true and sincere smile, but Philippe Turchet goes further. "In fact, any smile that lasts signals embarrassment, because people who are secure in their relationship don't feel the need to show that all is well."

@warrotanya Sure thing! YouTube has a lot of guidance videos on how to use it for neck/shoulder pain and tension… https://t.co/HhQG4IPzex

— Rebecca Coffindaffer Mon Jul 06 01:45:56 +0000 2020

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The left, the side of the heart

The body lexicon, now. In this vast pictorial corpus, we learn that presenting the left side of one's face testifies to a great emotional openness and ensures greater seduction. The famous don juan Rudolph Valentino always posed so that his left ear was visible. Conversely, when we show the right side of our face, we show more vigilance and severity, but also more sustained listening.

In general, we place what we prefer on the left, on the right what irritates us, guarantees the author. “So when your collaborator tells you that yesterday he worked with Louis, Justine and Romaine and that when he talks about Romaine, he reveals his right half-face, you could ask him how things are going with her. These small observations are often enough to improve the work dynamic, it is just a matter of being attentive.” And quite subtle, so…

The gestures of trauma

Often, the lexicon continues, when we evoke serious subjects, our gaze is fixed in the void to seek a place where we can rest and reflect. “It's called the whiteboard theory. It is important to give the person time to finish their painting”, recommends the specialist. On the other hand, and this is universal, each time we have finished speaking, we look at the other to “give him the floor as we would give him an object”.

On the topic: To put an end to the traumas of the past

Is there a gesture of trauma? “It was observed that the firefighters of September 11, 2001 looked down to the right when they spoke of this tragedy. This is a sign that they are managing this memory. People who look at the bottom left while evoking a trauma testify to a difficulty in getting out of it, ”explains the author.

It itches, it itches

In the series of self-contact gestures, Philippe Turchet devotes a vast chapter to micro-itching. Signs of an emotion that has condensed in a point of the body and requires scratching to regain control. "Men scratch more than women and more in situations where power is at stake," he informs. Besides, when someone scratches their outstretched right arm, it is better to lighten the pressure in front, because “it is a discreet strategy to show the fist”! Scratching the outside of the arm allows the person to protect themselves, and when an interlocutor wishes to get closer to their vis-à-vis, they willingly press the inside of their arm.

And the nose? What does this central element say? A star of scratching, it alone crystallizes 50% of facial itching, documents the synergologist. The bridge of the nose itches in case of curiosity, its right wing when you disapprove of your interlocutor and its left wing when your own image is undermined...

About: When emotions lead us by the nose

The forehead in search of a solution

Hands in the form of a pyramid signal expertise, the microgrooming of clothes indicates nervousness and grasping one's glasses between the thumb and forefinger shows renewed attention : the nomenclature abounds with amusing readings which give keys to understanding the person you are talking to.

Because, insists Philippe Turchet, it is always about improving communication. If during a conversation, your vis-à-vis scratches his forehead, it means that he is close to finding a solution. “Give him the time he needs.” But if, on the contrary, he scratches the back of his head, he has already given up thinking. “It is your responsibility to ask him what he finds complicated and to co-construct the solution with him.”

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Knowing that communication is 55% based on visual cues, 38% on vocal cues and only 7% on words, reading the body language of your interlocutor could open up new horizons.